It is a slow fade isn't it? People don't wake up one day and cheat on their spouses, or wake up one day and just go kill someone. They don't wake up and decide to be alcoholics. They don't wake up and decide their going to be druggies or steal or whatever else it may be that people may do that isn't ideal.
My dad use to be everything to me. When I was little he was so loving and always around. He took care of me and was there for me. He was at every soccer game I ever had. He was my biggest cheerleader. But now....
Now he lives about 10 mins. away from me in a condo. He is addicted to pain medicine and alcohol. He only ever calls me to complain about how sick he is or ask for money for more than likely cigarettes or alcohol. He also has a terminally ill disease and is on oxygen, which makes everything worse. As of recently he lost all of his power and my guess is he will lose his home soon also. My dad doesn't have a relationship with my brother anymore, he only met his fiance once and didn't even come to their wedding. My sister avoids calling and talking to him at all expense. I just don't know what to do anymore. My dad has slowly faded into someone I can't even recognize. He's not the daddy I loved so much and looked up to. I see glimpses of who he was sometimes, but even those are beginning to fade away.
My family tells me not to give him money or even really be around him. I've been trying to do that, but I recently have had nightmares of him dying and in the dream I have this overwhelming sense of guilt for not doing more for him. But where do the boundaries need to be with someone who is addicted to things and is not who they once were? Where do you make that line? The Bible talks about respecting your parents and helping the poor. My dad, when I won't help him, will say things like, "You say your a Christian so you should ..." or, " that's not very Christian of you." .... It hurts. I'm hurting. I'm hurting for him and for not knowing what is the right thing to do. Today I had to bring two trash bags full of food to his home because he has no food and no money to buy food. I know that soon he'll probably lose his home and then what do I do? Can I just let my dad go into a homeless shelter? I don't know I'm so confused and lost on what to do in this situation. I'm praying for guidance. I know prayer is really the only thing I'm sure of that can help right now. Please pray for me. Please pray for my dad. And please when those little temptations come into our lives, whatever they may be; alcohol, drugs, lust, thoughts of stealing or whatever it might be, lets STOP ourselves from giving into those thoughts. Because one decision can start that slow fade into becoming something/someone that God never intended for us to be and that people won't even recognize is us.
2 Chronicles 20:12 -
"...We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
Matthew 26:41-
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
"...We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
Matthew 26:41-
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
I'm really sorry. And it's great that you care enough to want to help him.
ReplyDeleteBe strong. I know you'll make it through this.
:)
Thanks:)
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ReplyDeleteWow. I am so sorry. That is really tough. I wish I could say I know what you're going through, but to be honest, I have no idea what that would feel like... but thankfully Jesus does! He has experienced everything during His suffering on the cross & in The Garden of Gethsemane so He knows exactly how you feel & how your dad feels & how your mom feels. He is the great healer of our souls. Every person is a child of God which means we all have worth even if people themselves, have forgotten that. He can help us remember who we truly are. The only words that come to mind are, "True charity is to be able to separate a man from what he does." To hate the sin, but love the sinner. To be able to leave judgement up to the Lord & just love people. Jesus did that with the woman taken in adultery. He did not condemn her but also did not say that her sin was ok. He told her to go & sin no more & yet he showed love & compassion on her. It is extremely hard to emulate that though. I know I am not successful at this yet at all but perhaps someday with God's help, I can be less judgmental & love people the way Christ did. You never know if showing love to someone will melt & change their heart forever. So I guess the line is: to help people with food, shelter, clothes, kindness, & love BUT not enabling people to hurt themselves or others further, or helping them to continue in sin. I fear I've already said too much probably. Sorry about that. :-( I hope some part of what I've written has been helpful but if not, feel free to just disregard any part that isn't. I'm no expert but just say what I feel prompted to say. Pray for revelation on what to do for your dad & The Holy Spirit can answer your prayers & guide you. "By the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things." Best wishes & God Bless. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comforting words. It really does help. I pray for him very often. It's hard seeing him not the man he use to be. I feel alone a lot b/c a lot of people don't know what it's like or don't care about the situation, so i do really appreciate you writing me. Thank You!
ReplyDeleteYou are most welcome. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you or how alone you must feel. Sometimes I'll feel alone even while in a room full of people. But then I remember the "Footprints" poem & realize that I'm never alone even when I feel like I am. While reading your words my soul wept for you...
ReplyDelete"It hurts. I'm hurting. I'm hurting for him and for not knowing what is the right thing to do."
Watching someone you love disintegrate before your eyes physically, spiritually, & emotionally is beyond my understanding. Thankfully there is One who has descended below all things so that He can help us rise above all things. "And He shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith He will take upon Him the pains and the sicknesses of His people. And He will take upon Him death, that He may loose the bands of death which bind His people; and He will take upon Him their infirmities, that His bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that He may know according to the flesh how to succor His people according to their infirmities." Praise our Father in Heaven for sending His Beloved Son! We would be so lost without Him!
I love that poem! (Footprints)! Thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteAgain, you are most welcome. :-) If we as the body of Christ are not lifting each other up & serving our neighbors, then what are we doing as His hands & feet?! And we should be "...desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called His people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death..."
ReplyDelete"For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me."
I think this applies to spiritual & emotional situations as well as physical. Jesus spent His time with those that were hurting & so if we are to follow His example we should do likewise.
P.S. Happy Mother's Day! ...Not because you are necessarily already a mother now but because I know you will be a wonderful mother someday with your own children & your "surrogate children" that you will meet through your internship & career in the future. You will be a guiding mother to them, & can point them to Christ. :-)
Thank you! .... I'm not anywhere near being a Mother yet, but I appreciate your kind words. My birthday was actually today lol
ReplyDeleteOh wow! Well then, um, Happy Yesterday Birthday! :P I hope it was fun for you & that you got to spend it with your friends & loved ones. Sorry, I don't think I know any scriptures about birthdays... hehe ...but I do know some about being born again in Christ! :-) We can make every day a spiritual rebirth.
ReplyDelete"Except a man be born of water & of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God."
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
"And now behold, I ask of you, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? ...if you have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"
Praise the Lord for His patience with us in giving us another chance every day to recommit our hearts to Him & be born again!
Thank you :)
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